Of Gods And Men - Megagaming in Leeds (Part One)

"And finally, the ninth and least glorious of our heroes..."

That is literally, word for word, how I was introduced at the start of the day. It was almost ten o'clock in the morning, and I had come to the Royal Armouries in Leeds for a Megagame. I stood uncertainly and looked out on a hall of more than sixty unfamiliar faces. A character sheet clutched in one hand, a satchel of food and drink at my feet. My only armour; a distinctive styling of my facial hair that I had adopted the night before which allowed me to believe that I wore a disguise of impenetrable cunning.

"I am Autolycus," I mumbled, before gesturing to the eight other heroic characters. "Anything mysterious you've ever heard about that couldn't be attributed to one of them... this guy."

Awkwardly, I returned to my seat. My heart was thundering; my ears roared, vision narrowed, limbs shook, breath shortened. Even the intermittent lower back pain, that I always attribute to being tall and utterly uninspired by sports, throbbed with the surges of tension pouring through me. This must be a panic attack, I thought, the important thing is to remain hydrated and not let it spiral out of control. I took my silver chalice (a much treasured gift) from my satchel, opened a cheap litre bottle of fizzy energy beverage and carefully drank the vessel dry three times. I think people were talking to me and someone put a few Hero Cards in my hand. I probably smiled and agreed a lot.

Ares is unimpressed by your tiny mortal drinking vessel.

I need a plan, said my brain, something to give me an edge. I had one friend in the room: Mavis Cruet was part of the team that represented the city-state of Arkadia. That's not enough you buffoon, scoffed Brain, all the heroes will know people in the city-states. If I want stories told of my exploits, and boy do I ever want that, I need a fistful of destiny. My eyes fell on the temples of the oracles. At this moment, the god teams (each comprising a Mind, a Voice and a Hand) were discussing tactics and the temple chairs were sitting vacant, but I knew immediately what I would do.

My feet carried me to the temples, where I strolled up and down hoping to catch the a god's attention. This won't work; gods don't want to be summoned! I went to my knees. Other heroes nearby glanced at me suspiciously, no doubt wondering if I knew something they didn't. All I knew was, if I was playing a god, I'd like being prayed to. But time was passing, behind me I could hear heroic characters forging alliances and making pacts with city-states. Had I been foolish? Wasn't I just hiding from interaction because I was so nervous? My will broke easily, I stood and turned away.

"Where do you think you're going?" The voice that rang out was that of Aphrodite and with a sudden rush of joy I spun on my heel and went back to my knees. Moments later, Bruce announced the commencement of the first turn and suddenly oracles appeared. Athena came first, inquiring how I intended to honour her. One of the few parts of my character sheet that I understood was that I had a Talent: Piloting. "I plan to embark on a long sea voyage," I improvised madly, "and would be grateful for your wise guidance." This garnered me another of these mysterious Hero Cards, so I tried again with Aphrodite. "The love of my youth died many years ago, and I am weary of mourning. I sail to distant shores in search of love..." another Hero Card. Artemis made me work a little harder. I had to promise that I would sing of her grace in the Heroes' Tavern "loud enough that it may be heard on Mount Olympus." I gave my word and two Hero Cards were forthcoming. Onward, to the temple of Ares.

That's right, while I addressed the Voice of Ares, the Hand of Ares loomed over me.
Because, if there's one thing the god of war is really into, it's intimidation.

"What could Ares possibly want of Autolycus, least glorious of heroes?" The Voice of Ares sneered and craned over my shoulder in search of more worthy worshippers. A little crestfallen I decided to see what my Hero Cards could do, so I sought out my friend in Arkadia. As it happened, they were plagued by a sea serpent and were looking for a hero to deal with it. Defeating the sea serpent was a Feat, this meant that certain requirements had to be fulfilled before one could face it. These requirements were usually met by demonstrating ownership of certain Hero Cards. My hand of cards matched some of those required, but three deficiencies remained: someone to pilot the boat (which fortunately I could do myself), a superhuman strength at arms and, perhaps predictably, a boat. My first really good bit of luck was when the Arkadians revealed that they had a magical, unsinkable boat, which I could use and then keep. All that remained was the strength so, with a heavy heart, I returned to the temple of Ares. My memory has drawn a veil over the begging and grovelling that then took place, but in the end I succeeded. As long as I promised to dedicate my victory to him (by handing over the Favour of Zeus tokens I would receive), Ares agreed to grant me the requisite strength. I made the attempt (which required me to discard two of my precious Hero Cards), got lucky with dice and achieved my first victory. By the end of turn one, I had slain the sea serpent, earned Prestige for Arkadia in doing so, grudgingly dedicated the victory to Ares, won myself a magical boat and risen in the ranks to seventh most glorious hero.

The city-state of Arkadia fends off invasion, while I vanquish the Sea Serpent and Ares watches over us all.

Thinking that I had now completely grasped my role in the game, I spent the next couple of turns stalking the lands of ancient Hellas, slaying beasts, honouring the gods and collecting Hero Cards. At one point, I drifted into the path of an army and, though I literally could not tell you who was fighting whom, I found myself leading an army to defeat and was injured for my efforts. The wound healed well, but meant that each subsequent turn I had to roll for Mortality, which brought the risks of death or ageing. Battle suited me ill. Fortunately, good old Arkadia let me know that the Hind with Golden Antlers had been sighted in their lands and bid me slay it that they might mount its head upon the wall of their throne-room. Hunting, I thought, I know which two gods I'll be checking in with. However, when I told Artemis of my plans and how I'd sing her praises in my telling of the hunt, the look on the oracle's face filled me with doubt. Oh, I wish I'd read up on my mythology before I came! Surprisingly, in response to my prayers, she granted me two Hero Cards and a token of Divine Good Fortune. Without uttering a word she had chastened me and I knew this mission would be a turning point for Autolycus. My subsequent visit to Apollo granted me a window into the lives of the gods. The oracle complained that I could do nothing for him as he knew that I would dedicate the hunt to his sister-goddess, Artemis. I swore that, if he aided me, I would not forget it and he would have my praise for a future victory. After weighing me up for a moment, Apollo provided my tenth Hero Card and I set out after the Hind. Choosing to test my Cunning, rather than Combat, meant that I could not apply the bonus from a magical bow that had been lent to me by Boeotia, but it did mean that I could capture the beast alive. I presented it, bucking and whinnying at the Arkadian court and strolled away.

"So, the secret to making a good cocktail is that you have to shake it really well." - Jaap Boender

Some sort of Arkadian courtier hurried after me, inquiring whether I still sailed in their boat. I admitted that I did and he asked if I would be so good as to sail it around Hellespont, thus opening the Black Sea region to trade and exploration. It seemed a reasonable request, but first I had boasting to do. I dedicated my Feat to Artemis and announced it at the top of my voice from the door of the Heroes Tavern. Hopefully, that fulfils my promise of a song, I thought.

Could you say that again for the camera?

The Voyage around Hellespont proved to be a Quest and this was where the game really got going. Employing the aforementioned Boeotian bow, I rid a blind seer of the harpies that plagued him. I dedicated this act to Apollo, clearing my divine balance sheet, and pressed onward. The seer advised me to follow the heron that flies through the crashing rocks. I did so, and with a little help from two heroic allies, piloted my ship to the end of the Quest. By the end of the turn I had reached the dizzying height of third most glorious hero, and by the gods it felt earned. I quaffed the remainder of my energy drink and devoured the contents of my satchel; an apple, a plum, two carrots, and an Eccles cake. We must have been going for four hours or more, but there was no time to rest. The Voice of Artemis was sending me on another Quest. This time to Colchis, for the Golden Fleece...

All images courtesy of Jim Wallman (Megagame Makers)